Mar. 8th, 2012

levity: (evening stretched out against the sky)
I am tired, I am so, so tired, even though this is probably the least tiring module ever and also mostly my fault, because hello Arsenal-Milan at 3:45 in the morning, but I can't not- and isn't this the root of all my problems, I don't do things because I want to, I do them because I can't not. I don't even want Mediscene anymore- I say this every year and maybe I mean it every year, too, but getting the main cast in one place for long enough to make one full run is like herding cats, people, like herding cats no one told you were tigers, and I may have to drop the play-within-a-play thing after all because I cannot get extras, and dry run was rescheduled because the Culture Comm people didn't get hold of whoever was in charge of Class 72 Theatre, and of course Globe chooses today to cut off my phone services. And the stupid research protocol Googledoc refuses to cooperate with me, and it's sweltering like high summer, and I don't even know if I'm doing this whole directing-thing correctly, I don't know if I'm actually getting anything done that the cast wouldn't do on their own except for maybe put them all in one place, and second-guessing yourself will always be necessary, because otherwise you'd be self-righteous and completely unbearable, but I don't know when I'm no longer being logical and I don't have the time, I don't have the time. I don't want to do this next year- hell, I don't want to do this now, but I signed up for the job. It's not like I wouldn't have been doing it even if I hadn't.

And I'd like to say that I want to go back to when things were less complicated, but I can't for the life of me remember when that was.

---

In completely unrelated news, I love my production team, and I love all my housemates.
levity: (evening stretched out against the sky)
I am tired, I am so, so tired, even though this is probably the least tiring module ever and also mostly my fault, because hello Arsenal-Milan at 3:45 in the morning, but I can't not- and isn't this the root of all my problems, I don't do things because I want to, I do them because I can't not. I don't even want Mediscene anymore- I say this every year and maybe I mean it every year, too, but getting the main cast in one place for long enough to make one full run is like herding cats, people, like herding cats no one told you were tigers, and I may have to drop the play-within-a-play thing after all because I cannot get extras, and dry run was rescheduled because the Culture Comm people didn't get hold of whoever was in charge of Class 72 Theatre, and of course Globe chooses today to cut off my phone services. And the stupid research protocol Googledoc refuses to cooperate with me, and it's sweltering like high summer, and I don't even know if I'm doing this whole directing-thing correctly, I don't know if I'm actually getting anything done that the cast wouldn't do on their own except for maybe put them all in one place, and second-guessing yourself will always be necessary, because otherwise you'd be self-righteous and completely unbearable, but I don't know when I'm no longer being logical and I don't have the time, I don't have the time. I don't want to do this next year- hell, I don't want to do this now, but I signed up for the job. It's not like I wouldn't have been doing it even if I hadn't.

And I'd like to say that I want to go back to when things were less complicated, but I can't for the life of me remember when that was.

---

In completely unrelated news, I love my production team, and I love all my housemates.

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