Jun. 18th, 2012

levity: (bring it)
Fucking Netherlands. You talented batshit orange disastrous headache of a drama queen team.

I mean, instead of storming down the tunnel or sulking on the bench like any other substituted player Arjen Robben walked around the entire football pitch, in front of all the cameras. And then sat down beside the tunnel, and Mark van Bommel joined him. Just. Guys. I don't even really support you, it's just that Robin our reliable Captain Vantastic suddenly reverts to rebellious teenagerhood when playing for his national team and I want him to win an international trophy. If I were Maarten Stekelenberg I would be pulling my hair out in despair and agony.

---

Ladies and gentlemen, let's talk about Cristiano Ronaldo.

Look, I love the guy. I love him because he's a crazy superstar who does, like, Armani jeans ads with a ridiculous self-aware sort of earnestness under all the artifice and who wears the stupidest things and who goes on interviews and says that people are probably booing him because he's rich, handsome, and good at football, complete with a laugh just for the camera. I love him because he's always under fire, always second-best, and because he never does anything to indicate that it's entered his mind that he could be anything but the best in the world. I love the bluster and the wide grins and the way he tries so hard to keep Cris Junior out of the limelight and I love the utter- I don't even know what the word for it is- I love the absurd certainty he has that is necessary in anyone willing to make their kid a junior. I love the guy, but with all the noise I'd forgotten what the noise was about. I'd forgotten just how good he could be.

And against Holland- you're going to be hearing this from all the pundits, but he was just so good. When Nani sent that pass to him for his second goal and he took one touch on the ball and trapped it at his feet and pulled back, and the Dutch defender going after him skidded ahead and that was when he made the shot- holy carp. It was such a Cristiano Ronaldo goal, pace and flair and composure, and did you say anything about shutting critics up? Yeah.

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