levity: (Default)
We went to Trinoma. (I still don't know which letters to capitalize.) Tricia, Mina, Jenny, and I. Tricia and Mina left earlier, though. So after McDo and Timezone Jenny and I went to Powerbooks.

She stepped in first. Nothing happened. I didn't expect anything to, after all. So I followed, and all of a sudden the two metal things by the doors started flashing red lights and an alarm started beeping, and I tried to just keep on walking as though nothing has happened, all the while wondering What did I do this time?

Buti na lang mabait yung guard. I had brought a book along with me, just in case our Trinoma trip didn't push through,

It made for a funny story afterwards, but no one in my family really found it funny.

---

There is one thing about the last day of the school year that everyone agrees upon.

People squander the last day of the school year in all sorts of odd ways. Some spend it being emo over what will never return, some use up all their excess spurts of laughter and energy, some force it to be memorable the last of anything should be, some try to keep things as ordinary as possible so that the end of the year they had gotten used to wouldn't hit so hard. Some spend it with old friends, some bond with classmates they didn't get the chance to know. Some stare in undisguised wonder at the fluffs of cotton floating over the field while others give comments about movie scenes they could create from them or about biological facts of cotton no one really wanted to know just then. People squander the last day of the school year in all sorts of odd ways, but there is one thing they agree on, and it is that it doesn't feel like the end.

---

I was made to be alone- he said it himself. Sweet, helpful, annoying in a way that didn't rankle- all the traits I had built up for myself were just that: for myself. My friends are there not to help me with my problems but to help me avoid them. I am made so that people could get close to me, but so that I could not get close to people. I'm incapable of it. I forget to avoid the pain and insist upon ignoring the fact that the pain comes because I forget. And if I wish that something terrible would happen to me it would not just be so that no one could tell me I didn't know what it was like to suffer, but so that I would finally be pushed down a definite path, so that I would finally be Jillian, whoever that is, even if she had been shattered completely by what she had to go through to get rid of me. Because I don't want to have lived the past three years of my life in a masquerade, and I don't know if that is something I should realise or if I'm being paranoid of the things I should be sure of. Because I was made to be alone, and I don't know if I should change that, or if it's too late.
levity: (Default)
We went to Trinoma. (I still don't know which letters to capitalize.) Tricia, Mina, Jenny, and I. Tricia and Mina left earlier, though. So after McDo and Timezone Jenny and I went to Powerbooks.

She stepped in first. Nothing happened. I didn't expect anything to, after all. So I followed, and all of a sudden the two metal things by the doors started flashing red lights and an alarm started beeping, and I tried to just keep on walking as though nothing has happened, all the while wondering What did I do this time?

Buti na lang mabait yung guard. I had brought a book along with me, just in case our Trinoma trip didn't push through,

It made for a funny story afterwards, but no one in my family really found it funny.

---

There is one thing about the last day of the school year that everyone agrees upon.

People squander the last day of the school year in all sorts of odd ways. Some spend it being emo over what will never return, some use up all their excess spurts of laughter and energy, some force it to be memorable the last of anything should be, some try to keep things as ordinary as possible so that the end of the year they had gotten used to wouldn't hit so hard. Some spend it with old friends, some bond with classmates they didn't get the chance to know. Some stare in undisguised wonder at the fluffs of cotton floating over the field while others give comments about movie scenes they could create from them or about biological facts of cotton no one really wanted to know just then. People squander the last day of the school year in all sorts of odd ways, but there is one thing they agree on, and it is that it doesn't feel like the end.

---

I was made to be alone- he said it himself. Sweet, helpful, annoying in a way that didn't rankle- all the traits I had built up for myself were just that: for myself. My friends are there not to help me with my problems but to help me avoid them. I am made so that people could get close to me, but so that I could not get close to people. I'm incapable of it. I forget to avoid the pain and insist upon ignoring the fact that the pain comes because I forget. And if I wish that something terrible would happen to me it would not just be so that no one could tell me I didn't know what it was like to suffer, but so that I would finally be pushed down a definite path, so that I would finally be Jillian, whoever that is, even if she had been shattered completely by what she had to go through to get rid of me. Because I don't want to have lived the past three years of my life in a masquerade, and I don't know if that is something I should realise or if I'm being paranoid of the things I should be sure of. Because I was made to be alone, and I don't know if I should change that, or if it's too late.
levity: (Default)
 That's what best friends do. They calm you down, make you laugh, take out your fangs, talk to you about random stuff, annoy you with their pretend vanity and insults, and in general cheer you up. It does not matter how foul your mood was, how busy you are, how insane they are, how immature walking through toy stores and playing with hobby horses may be, how much money you spend, how long the trip takes, how tired your feet are afterwards. Best friends take normal, depressive, discontent, rebellious people and turn them into entities that can be almost happy. And they do that unintentionally.

I love you, JoMiKeAdDaAn. =>
levity: (Default)
 That's what best friends do. They calm you down, make you laugh, take out your fangs, talk to you about random stuff, annoy you with their pretend vanity and insults, and in general cheer you up. It does not matter how foul your mood was, how busy you are, how insane they are, how immature walking through toy stores and playing with hobby horses may be, how much money you spend, how long the trip takes, how tired your feet are afterwards. Best friends take normal, depressive, discontent, rebellious people and turn them into entities that can be almost happy. And they do that unintentionally.

I love you, JoMiKeAdDaAn. =>
levity: (Default)
 I really should be sleeping. Or studying. Or posting the data of a while ago's activity. If I liked advertising I would probably post the data here and tell my classmates to visit. If.

But fortunately for them, they have no reason to come across this, ever.


"... and i wonder if you're happy or just glad to see me scarred
did my drunk compelled confessions sober up completing hard?
i am bending over backwards to get close to you but still i feel so far

because... you mean so much to me
and i wish that we could start it over, start it over
i don't need your sympathy or apologies
but still i'm staring in my coffee cup and it's six a. m.
and i cannot give up..."
levity: (Default)
 I really should be sleeping. Or studying. Or posting the data of a while ago's activity. If I liked advertising I would probably post the data here and tell my classmates to visit. If.

But fortunately for them, they have no reason to come across this, ever.


"... and i wonder if you're happy or just glad to see me scarred
did my drunk compelled confessions sober up completing hard?
i am bending over backwards to get close to you but still i feel so far

because... you mean so much to me
and i wish that we could start it over, start it over
i don't need your sympathy or apologies
but still i'm staring in my coffee cup and it's six a. m.
and i cannot give up..."
levity: (Default)

Ikaw! Alam mo naman kung sino ka! Mag-reply ka na, o mag-log on ka, kundi ayoko na sa iyo!

... You won't believe me, I know, but it's worth a try.... XD


---

Hmm... So much has happened this week it's hard to post since I don't know where to start...

Well, there were the intrams. Normally, I don't like intrams, because I don't like sports, and I only attend since 1.) it's required; 2.) I love my class so much I'm willing to sit through three days of sports just to support them. They won't believe me, I know ("they" referring to my classes, Garnet and Champaca), and neither will you, whoever you are, and I don't blame you, since that sounded so superficial of me. But it's true. But that doesn't mean that you have to believe it. For all you know, I may be lying.

I don't like sports, and when I don't like something that means I'm probably not good at it (though the converse isn't true, since neither am I good at the things I like, like Geom. and writing). So I guess it would be logical to conclude that I am not good at sports, and for those of you who have concluded otherwise, you're wrong, since I am in no way good at sports.

So when Maricor asked for those joining one sport or another, I was left out. And guess what I got assigned to? Jackstones!

And guess what? I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY JACKSTONES. I just learned last Sunday....

And guess what? We won a game by default. And lost the next game. Pero ang galing ng teammate ko!

They asked me to join swimming, since Edz got appendicitis... I couldn't though...

And the end results? The Black team won second overall.... We were second to White... And yet another guess what? We lost the first place by one point!

---

Yesterday signified the end of the intrams, and I cleared myself, so to speak, then. It was only then that I returned my books and replaced the beaker our Chem. group broke somehow. It only took up about an hour- the rest of the day was mine.

And so Champaca played patintero, and tried to get me to join but I didn't since I'm not good at sports, and then Chii and I played badminton against Darrwin, and then against Niko, because I was rather hyper then and had to use up the excess energy somehow. Now those two things in the above sentence didn't make sense, so that's good.

Guia left early that day, since she had to commute home by herself, and I wanted to accompany her, but I didn't think I'd get away with it. I don't know how to commute.

And that day was very, very important...

To you! Yes, you! You know why it's important, don't you? XD

Okay, ang kulit ko....

Because hyperness lasts long, and gives a very long-lasting hangover. Sometimes. Or maybe this is beyond normal hyperness.


Okay, anlabo ko...

All you have to know is that that day, March 15, 2007, was very, very important, for reasons that may be insignificant and that may shatter the world. Now I'm exaggerating, but that makes everything a lot more interesting. It'd be boring if I just told everything directly, no?

---

We went to Gateway today, and by "we" I mean me, Tricia, Thea, and Jan. It was originally supposed to mean me, Thea, Tricia, Guia, Chii, and Jenny- in short, JoMiKeAdDaAn, unrespectively- but due to unforeseen disturbances only Tricia, Thea, and I were able to come. I was the latest among us, which was a first when it came to out-of-school outings but not when it came to classes. When it came to out-of-school things, Thea was usually the latest.

And they were at Starbucks inside (I'd remembered that we were supposed to meet at Starbucks, but I'd forgotten which Starbucks, so it took me some time to get to them), and I entered, and reminded them what my mother had reminded me: "Abstinence ngayon!"

*Oo nga no!!!*

Thanks to that fact, we had lunch at Teriyaki Boy. And thanks to that fact, we couldn't order anything with meat. And thanks to that fact, we could still stop by Starbucks and buy drinks and dessert. That's what you call abstaining!

(Now I don't know how that last paragraph was supposed to sound like, especially so the last sentence. I don't know whether it was supposed to be sarcastic or self-deprecating or what. Basta, nevermind.)

And Jan turned up while we were at Starbucks. We tried getting him to pay for stuff. ("Diosdado, tulungan mo ako. Nasaan na ang kapatid mong si Ninoy?"-Jan, while talking to a 200-peso bill.)

I had accidentally exclaimed, while trying to talk Jan into paying for us, "Ampangit mo, Jan!"

After some time (where some time==two seconds) we had concluded na lahat ng hindi nanlilibre ay pangit.

"you evil people + nonperson, forcing semi-innocent citizens into paying for your indulgences! you should be ashamed of yourselves." -August, when I told him about everything.

We had watched Because I Said So after the Starbucks, and would probably have gone shopping after that had we had more cash. Jan refused to pay for us. XD

And I had quite a time replying to the someone who was texting Thea, begging her for forgiveness. Oddly enough, he didn't realise it was me.

---

May gusto akong sabihin na hindi ko masabi.

This is mad. I can't say it, not because you know about this thing, but beacuse you're not the only one.

Just remember that if I'm hyper it's your fault. XD


What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

-Lifehouse, You and Me

levity: (Default)

Ikaw! Alam mo naman kung sino ka! Mag-reply ka na, o mag-log on ka, kundi ayoko na sa iyo!

... You won't believe me, I know, but it's worth a try.... XD


---

Hmm... So much has happened this week it's hard to post since I don't know where to start...

Well, there were the intrams. Normally, I don't like intrams, because I don't like sports, and I only attend since 1.) it's required; 2.) I love my class so much I'm willing to sit through three days of sports just to support them. They won't believe me, I know ("they" referring to my classes, Garnet and Champaca), and neither will you, whoever you are, and I don't blame you, since that sounded so superficial of me. But it's true. But that doesn't mean that you have to believe it. For all you know, I may be lying.

I don't like sports, and when I don't like something that means I'm probably not good at it (though the converse isn't true, since neither am I good at the things I like, like Geom. and writing). So I guess it would be logical to conclude that I am not good at sports, and for those of you who have concluded otherwise, you're wrong, since I am in no way good at sports.

So when Maricor asked for those joining one sport or another, I was left out. And guess what I got assigned to? Jackstones!

And guess what? I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY JACKSTONES. I just learned last Sunday....

And guess what? We won a game by default. And lost the next game. Pero ang galing ng teammate ko!

They asked me to join swimming, since Edz got appendicitis... I couldn't though...

And the end results? The Black team won second overall.... We were second to White... And yet another guess what? We lost the first place by one point!

---

Yesterday signified the end of the intrams, and I cleared myself, so to speak, then. It was only then that I returned my books and replaced the beaker our Chem. group broke somehow. It only took up about an hour- the rest of the day was mine.

And so Champaca played patintero, and tried to get me to join but I didn't since I'm not good at sports, and then Chii and I played badminton against Darrwin, and then against Niko, because I was rather hyper then and had to use up the excess energy somehow. Now those two things in the above sentence didn't make sense, so that's good.

Guia left early that day, since she had to commute home by herself, and I wanted to accompany her, but I didn't think I'd get away with it. I don't know how to commute.

And that day was very, very important...

To you! Yes, you! You know why it's important, don't you? XD

Okay, ang kulit ko....

Because hyperness lasts long, and gives a very long-lasting hangover. Sometimes. Or maybe this is beyond normal hyperness.


Okay, anlabo ko...

All you have to know is that that day, March 15, 2007, was very, very important, for reasons that may be insignificant and that may shatter the world. Now I'm exaggerating, but that makes everything a lot more interesting. It'd be boring if I just told everything directly, no?

---

We went to Gateway today, and by "we" I mean me, Tricia, Thea, and Jan. It was originally supposed to mean me, Thea, Tricia, Guia, Chii, and Jenny- in short, JoMiKeAdDaAn, unrespectively- but due to unforeseen disturbances only Tricia, Thea, and I were able to come. I was the latest among us, which was a first when it came to out-of-school outings but not when it came to classes. When it came to out-of-school things, Thea was usually the latest.

And they were at Starbucks inside (I'd remembered that we were supposed to meet at Starbucks, but I'd forgotten which Starbucks, so it took me some time to get to them), and I entered, and reminded them what my mother had reminded me: "Abstinence ngayon!"

*Oo nga no!!!*

Thanks to that fact, we had lunch at Teriyaki Boy. And thanks to that fact, we couldn't order anything with meat. And thanks to that fact, we could still stop by Starbucks and buy drinks and dessert. That's what you call abstaining!

(Now I don't know how that last paragraph was supposed to sound like, especially so the last sentence. I don't know whether it was supposed to be sarcastic or self-deprecating or what. Basta, nevermind.)

And Jan turned up while we were at Starbucks. We tried getting him to pay for stuff. ("Diosdado, tulungan mo ako. Nasaan na ang kapatid mong si Ninoy?"-Jan, while talking to a 200-peso bill.)

I had accidentally exclaimed, while trying to talk Jan into paying for us, "Ampangit mo, Jan!"

After some time (where some time==two seconds) we had concluded na lahat ng hindi nanlilibre ay pangit.

"you evil people + nonperson, forcing semi-innocent citizens into paying for your indulgences! you should be ashamed of yourselves." -August, when I told him about everything.

We had watched Because I Said So after the Starbucks, and would probably have gone shopping after that had we had more cash. Jan refused to pay for us. XD

And I had quite a time replying to the someone who was texting Thea, begging her for forgiveness. Oddly enough, he didn't realise it was me.

---

May gusto akong sabihin na hindi ko masabi.

This is mad. I can't say it, not because you know about this thing, but beacuse you're not the only one.

Just remember that if I'm hyper it's your fault. XD


What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

-Lifehouse, You and Me

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