on valentines, achievement tests, and high-tech flyswatters

[levity]

Have you ever seeen a flyswatter that kills flies using electric shocks? I have, when I went home for the first time this year. That's not saying much, since the year has hardly begun (for goodness' sakes I still write 2006 when I put down dates. Or 2005. Or maybe that's just me), but it says something. I have a house in Manila and all, and a family here, but it isn't the same as being home. Imagine being in a very efficient, air-condidtioned, DSL-connected personalised dorm. Now that sounds better than what I originally wanted it to sound like, and that's a first. Usually when I try to put ideas into words the words sound worse than the ideas by a lot.

I don't exactly know what to say about the achievement tests, since my moods then were so mad and turbulent and weird. More weird than anything, since they swung from high point to low point back to high point again. Like China's dynastic cycle. Or like transverse waves. (I can practically hear my classmates saying, "Nerd!!!")

(But that's not true, since I am not a nerd. I was hardly able to study well for the achievement tests- okay, I'll be honest and say that I was hardly able to study at all, for the first day's tests, at least. At first that was because I thought the Feb. 12 was a Tuesday and not a Monday, and I reasoned I could study the Monday before. Thing is, there was no Monday before (okay, actually, there was, but it was one week ago then), and there is a limit to the amount of stuff one can study after one arrives in Manila at around ten at night, especailly if one cannot find one's first quarter Filipino notes.

So I'd spent the night of Feb. 11 studying for what I thought to be the next day's exams: Chem., Fil., and Bio.

And the next day, halfway through my Chem. test, I was at a standstill, not because I didn't know how to answer a question, but because Sir Bioman had written the day's schedule on the board.

It read:
8: 00 to 9:10- Chem. 1
9: 15 to 10: 30-Math 3

I stopped reading at that point, since I was too shocked. Math 3? Algebra?

I hadn't studied for Algebra. So, I panicked, almost. I didn't even have the time to cram during the five minutes between the first test and the next.

But oddly enough, the test went well.

Less oddly enough, but oddly enough I am still allowed to describe it using the phrase "oddly enough", everyone reacted without sympathy. Abby said that since I was a nerd, I was bound to score high anyway. Anna said that I didn't study since I didn't think I needed it, or didn't need it. August just laughed at me.)

On the whole, except for Geom., the achievement tests were okay. And as for Geom.? I found it harder than Algeb.. Well, actually, no, I didn't, but I was able to finish the Algeb. test, and not the Geom. one. I love the Geom. concepts and equations and especially so the proving, but I have quite a lot of trouble with arithmetic. Really. I kept on getting wrong answers due to stupid mistakes in addition or multiplication.

(Ngayon ko lang napansin, ang last part ng "multiplication" ay "cation"... Wala lang.)

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Peace is a weird thing, largely because of the different opinions on it. Some thought of it as a state where there was no fear, where nothing wrong happened. Some thought of it as something only for cowards. Some saw it as the prevention of the serving of vengeance, or justice as the case goes. Some thought it could only come with the implementation of justice.

Was it considered as peace, she wondered, if a girl were left to enjoy a day in the provinces with her family, with no rebukes but only laughter and memories to be shared? Was it considered as peace even if the girl had homework to finish and studying to be done, if she had worries tugging at her mind as she laughed in the afternoon sun? Was it considered peace if the girl were recognised for what she really was- a demon, a would be murderer, a failed suicide? And would peace have been said to reign had she been thrown into some hellish prison till she was long forgotten?

She did not know the answer.

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Peace never lasts long. When it gets disrupted- say by tests or the sudden realisation that one did not study for the said tests- there are times that it is never brought back. For some, when peace is disrupted by tests, the tests are followed only by study and panicking and worrying about grades. I considered myself very lucky in that aspect- my shock at realising I studies for the wrong tests was followed by a strange combination of insanity and beauty: a lunch break with my good friends both from this year's class and last year's; mad, lazy attempts to review for the tomorrow's tests with my best friend; a wonderful, sunny afternoon spent babbling at a classmate whom I never thought would be a friend, and being babbled at in return.

Yes, peace never lasted long, and when it lasted it almost never fit the average person's ideal of peace. But it lasted.

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Over the mad course of this week, I have strangely enogh become close friends with the classmate mentioned above. No names here, since many (now I'm deluding myself. Practically NO ONE knows about this blog. Well, okay, some know of its existence, but not enough to be considered as many) may react immediately, or jump to conclusions. This classmate was once called my best friend by transitivity, and maybe in a way he has become one of my best friends, and I've been with him practically the entire week.

And everyone I know is misinterpreting.

And now I'm even feeling a bit guilty since he has to deal with the {everyone I know}'s misinterpreting as well as my inanity and my black (not literally) moods. And he has dealt with it.

Enough said for now.

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Valentine's Day was a bit mad, but then again, it has always been. What else do expect from a day named for an all-but-legendary saint?

Many called it Single Awareness Day (abbreviated as SAD, so one is greeted, "Happy SAD!"), and written on our class blackboard was the following:

corny day 2day <--- sa mga inggit
Happy Valentine's Day!!! <--- for lovers
Single Awareness Day <--- sa mga luhaan

I kept laughing. I couldn't help it. Champaca can do that to you.

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The best achievement I have achieved during the achievement tests: I didn't fall asleep during the English test!!!!

Everyone was proud of me.

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And today was also mad. The student teachers/administration were in full force today, and our two classes with student teachers- Geom. and Physics- were insane, in the Champaca fashion. I kept laughing during Geom.. All of us were, but I was the only one laughing during the quiz, since I kept forgetting to divide triangle areas by two.

I could say a lot more, since there's a lot more to be said. A lot more behind the brilliance and the insanity. Some reasons for brilliance, some darkness, a reason the darkness was overcome. But I'm not posting it. Some things cannot be shared, since they lose their magic when they are.