the diameter of Jupiter, at iba pa...

[levity]

This is the post where I talk about my day. This is a post where I try to be me, and sound like me, but may end up sounding too much like an ordinary blog. No offence to the ordinary bloggers, but I don't want this thing to be filled with rants and things that sound like them, since there's a good side to everything.

Even my grades. But I'm just saying that; I don't necessarily believe what I say.

Anyways, for the first time- okay, not the first time, but the first time in such a long time I'd almost forgotten the PSHS hymn- I attended the flag ceremony. This was because Sir Arghs told us last week that we would be given an award, for the best play last year. I was determined to go, even if it killed me.

Well, not really. But it's nice to know our efforts were recognised.

Efforts? What efforts?

So first Sir Joey Flores gave the awards for this year's plays. When it came to the minor awards, Garnet this year didn't get any. Bendrix was laughing at me, since I kept on complaining about that. But when it came to the major awards-
Best Actor: from Garnet
Best Script: from Garnet
Best Production: from Garnet
Best Play, overall: Garnet!

And then he left the- okay, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT- the "stage."

And Camm, Chii, Tricia, and I got annoyed.
Camm: Linoko naman tayo ni Sir Arghs e!
Me: Pumasok-pasok pa ako nang maaga!

(I swear wastong gamit yan. I'm due to be studying for Fil..)

Then Sir Joey went back up the stage, and said, "We forgot one award, and it was one year late in coming. For the best play for YMSAT 2006, we have- 1-Garnet."

Weird how some days can be foretold by the morning, and some can't.

We had the stupid physics long test next. Okay, maybe the long test wasn't stupid, but that was certainly how it made me feel. I wasn't able to finish it (understatement again- if I were to be accurate I would say that I was hardly able to answer it, but I'm too arrogant), largely due to the fact we started ten minutes late.

My main thought was, There goes my dream of getting a 1.00 in Physics.

And we had a quiz in Bio., and our president scored higher than I did. How nice. That was sarcastic, by the way.

And a quiz in Envi. Sci., and lots of people- the term people here used loosely- scored higher than me, thanks to my faulty memory.

And I thank God there was no quiz in Com. Sci.. I'm already feeling antipathetic to Com. Sci. as is, thanks to something called a 2.25.

God is better to me than I deserve. So is the world, I guess, and that's saying something, since the world is eeeevil.

The last of my New Year's Resolutions was not to hurt myself. I have tried, and failed, and usually when I break a Resolution, I give up on trying to keep it, since what the hell, I already broke it. I know it matters, but I lose determination.

And I renewed that promise last night. I swore on all things holy that I wouldn't hurt myself. No more self-loathing. No more suicide attempts. No more arm-slashing.

And the day after I make that promise, I broke it. But not so much, since Chii saw me and told me to stop.

For those who can't guess what it was I was doing, it involved a pair of scissors, my arm, and a bit of blood that thankfully wasn't spotted by anyone. I don't think Anna would let me live in peace if she'd seen it. Another of the world's small favors.

And Anna was absent today, since she was sick. She said it looked like pneumonia. To Anna, if you're reading this, do get well soon. And take care of yourself, better care than I take of myself. And that's not hard.

---

"First day back and you break your promise," Lia commented.

I glared at her, a glare that was meant not for her but for myself. But I couldn't very well glare at myself, not unless I looked in a mirror.

She raised a single eyebrow. She was the only one of us who could do that. "Asmie, you swore that on all things holy."

I gave her a wry smile. "Promises are meant to be broken. Always always."

"Asmie!" She was almost whining. But only almost, since whining wasn't in her character. "Besides, you said you'd never bother <------> again if you broke it."

I stared at the ceiling of the library, not looking at the world that was too good for me to live in. "What I say and what I do are two very different things. Sometimes one of them isn't even a thing to begin with. I did say, after all, that I'd get a 1.2-something average."

"Asmie!"

I looked at her, then looked out the nearest window. The said nearest window was closed, and from my angle I could see my reflection. The look of despair on her face eerily mirrored the look on mine.

"What," I asked, not really asking.

"Miasma, look. The promise benefits me, yeah, but the main one it'll benefit is you. I'm not forcing this on you for me. It's all your gain."

She was trying very hard to be calm and reasonable; I could tell that by her tone and what I knew of her temperament. So I tried doing her the same favor.

"Lia, I need a way to release my anger. I can't very well vent it on anyone else."

"Burn something. Write something. Talk to someone. Anything!"

"Li. You know very well I'd die before I could talk to anyone. Not like anyone can understand me, anyway. And besides I'd feel guilty afterward for bothering them. And if I wrote something in that state I'd probably end up burning it."

"Then you'd kill two birds with one stone."

A bubble of laughter escaped from my throat. Oddly enough, Lia- the girl who never slept and hardly laughed- managed to make me laugh. But what could I say? Her retort had logic.

---

We were due to impeach a president, but we weren't able to, thanks to the personality tests. The said president has been neglecting his duties of the past three quarters, has been irresponsible, and has many of times chosen to play basketball over choosing to practice for a class activity. In addition to his being irresponsible in areas where he ought to be responsible, he tries to assume responsibility- the term responsibility here again used loosely- for things he was never required to do, for things which someone else was appointed to lead.

If you had a president like that, you'd want to replace him, too, wouldn't you?

At first he said we'd never given him a chance. We gave him three quarters, and he has yet to prove himself worthy of my respect. Worthy of the title.

And I definitely don't want him to handle my clearance papers.

---

Later that afternoon, Maricor, Tricia, Pristine, Verge, Guia, and I were talking about said president. Said president had courted me and Macoy at the same time sometime last year- really last year, not last academic year- and the result was that neither of us was speaking to him.

He had fought with Macoy later on, too, telling her that she was on a lower level than he was, insulting her, calling her a user, calling her arrogant and self-centered (look who's talking, I thought).

And they were reading his message to me, messages I wanted them to see and intended to delete later on.
Maricor: "I love you, good night"? Sinabi rin niya 'to sa akin, a!
Guia: Baka yun yung template niya...

And despite the ugly topic, conversation moved on, and the afternoon was peaceful and quiet and brilliant in its way.

So I guess the day was a parabola with a positive slope: It began high, went lower and lower and lower, and then went up again.

Nerd!!!!

---

My Callouts:

To Anna: Get well soon! And when I say soon I mean soon!

To Tricia: Thanks for letting me use your phone!

To Maricor: Ba't kaya hindi niya isipin na wala talagang papatol sa kanya?

To Camm: Sige na, gawin mo yung "dare" sa Wednesday! At gagawin ko na yung C++ thingy, send ko na lang...

To Chii: Thanks!

To Gian: Sorry sa kanila kanina....

To Guia: Thanks din sa phone at sa kalokohan, at anong nangyari sa kalachuchi?

To August: Sorry sa lahat ng bother... I mean it...

To anyone in Champaca: Kailan long test natin sa Pinoy?