tomorrow is our permanent address

I don't understand why I have to go against my conscience just to give the impression I want to give. I don't understand why everything has second meanings and why everything is fought like a battle. I don't understand how people can stand to live in a world of shadows and politics.

I don't understand why I have to live in someone else's world. But what's new with that?

Random thought: now I think I know why my other older posts were all stories of schooldays and other random events. It's not just because I had stories to tell and had no one to tell them to (because, after all, whoever would be able to relate with those events would have experienced those events with me). It's because if I didn't tell my stories my posts would all be concentrated on me and my moods. My weird, ever-changing, extreme moods.

And if I didn't have those extreme moods I would have almost no emotions. Since if my moods aren't extreme that means I can control them. And if I had a choice I would have no emotions. Because emotions only make people (and nonpeople) more vulnerable.

I remember that English lesson with Sir Arghs, when discussing poetry. That time I promised to myself that I wouldn't write anything resembling a blog. But this is a blog. Which is why I try to favor it with writing that is, if not magnificent, at least not something I will be ashamed of in the near future.

Okay, this was weird. If I had a point to make I hope I have already made it, since I've already forgotten it. If I even had one in the first place.