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levityNight before last Allison played Baba O'Riley at me while I was in the kitchen washing dishes, and MJ, who'd passed by the house just because, mentioned that it was the first time he'd heard me sing. Can you believe that? I can, actually, easily. But thank goodness for this deliberate happiness, that let me go to the grocery with Allison and Orven, singing American Pie and trying in vain to remember all the words. I mistook lansones for small potatoes and accidentally put my conditioner in the ref when we got home and we sang Beatles songs and it was like nothing was wrong.
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Yesterday morning I woke up at three in the morning to find out that Balls were televising the wrong game, and couldn't make my brain shut up enough to go to sleep. Arsenal won and the Barcelona-Milan game was fun and the San Siro sounded wonderful and Boateng's goal and subsequent celebratory somersaults were a joy, but really, why is the day I have to run on three hours of sleep is the one I don't have to get up at 6:30.
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I TRP because I never stopped loving singing and I missed being part of a production, I TRP because this past stupid horrible wonderful year music has been my lifeblood, music and football and fanfic, and this song, Laklak na ng kape mag-sugar high sa tsokolate, it isn't my attempt at it but it's a pretty good one, I TRP for Jasper singing soprano and Jasper singing alto and Jasper singing tenor and Jasper's facial expressions when conducting, but mostly I TRP for the Intarmedkids. It's their baby, Jasper's and Ces's and Gee's and Inah Jane's and Amag's, sort of the way Mediscene is mine. I wonder if there's a chorale equivalent for that moment when that mess of lines and blocking and gestures becomes a play (side note: I didn't have that moment last year, and when the actual thing rolled around I was a basket of nerves and only barely keeping my head because someone had to, and Vince and Jio burst out laughing onstage in the middle of Allison's funeral but they pulled it off anyway)- it's not the same, because we have to warm up every day before we start to sound passable, but if I were to say it'd be that evening we first finished the song, in a room on the first floor of the SSWC, when Jasper got us to sing the second chorus just right, soft and gently sliding into the coda, and I knew what we could sound like, if we tried hard enough.
And here I'll say again what I know in my bones every time I put on a play: these are swathes and swathes of time and effort and energy we're losing, and there's no way we can earn back enough to break even. But we can't not. So here's to us.
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Talked with Igitot earlier this afternoon, while I was downloading and printing all the lecture notes. He talked about his Twihard cousins and universitying in Canada and the time he got stuck in an elevator because he jumped, and I gave him cadaver stories and laughed at how he'd gotten used to speaking in English. There are so many people I miss.
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Had a cringeworthy conversation with Allen yesterday, too, and then took the two trains to Mega, singing all the things I'll never be able to say. I'm gonna steer clear/I'd burn up in your atmosphere. You're the direction I follow to get home. Which, I guess, is what music is there for. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. I'll cover you.
---
Yesterday morning I woke up at three in the morning to find out that Balls were televising the wrong game, and couldn't make my brain shut up enough to go to sleep. Arsenal won and the Barcelona-Milan game was fun and the San Siro sounded wonderful and Boateng's goal and subsequent celebratory somersaults were a joy, but really, why is the day I have to run on three hours of sleep is the one I don't have to get up at 6:30.
---
I TRP because I never stopped loving singing and I missed being part of a production, I TRP because this past stupid horrible wonderful year music has been my lifeblood, music and football and fanfic, and this song, Laklak na ng kape mag-sugar high sa tsokolate, it isn't my attempt at it but it's a pretty good one, I TRP for Jasper singing soprano and Jasper singing alto and Jasper singing tenor and Jasper's facial expressions when conducting, but mostly I TRP for the Intarmedkids. It's their baby, Jasper's and Ces's and Gee's and Inah Jane's and Amag's, sort of the way Mediscene is mine. I wonder if there's a chorale equivalent for that moment when that mess of lines and blocking and gestures becomes a play (side note: I didn't have that moment last year, and when the actual thing rolled around I was a basket of nerves and only barely keeping my head because someone had to, and Vince and Jio burst out laughing onstage in the middle of Allison's funeral but they pulled it off anyway)- it's not the same, because we have to warm up every day before we start to sound passable, but if I were to say it'd be that evening we first finished the song, in a room on the first floor of the SSWC, when Jasper got us to sing the second chorus just right, soft and gently sliding into the coda, and I knew what we could sound like, if we tried hard enough.
And here I'll say again what I know in my bones every time I put on a play: these are swathes and swathes of time and effort and energy we're losing, and there's no way we can earn back enough to break even. But we can't not. So here's to us.
---
Talked with Igitot earlier this afternoon, while I was downloading and printing all the lecture notes. He talked about his Twihard cousins and universitying in Canada and the time he got stuck in an elevator because he jumped, and I gave him cadaver stories and laughed at how he'd gotten used to speaking in English. There are so many people I miss.
---
Had a cringeworthy conversation with Allen yesterday, too, and then took the two trains to Mega, singing all the things I'll never be able to say. I'm gonna steer clear/I'd burn up in your atmosphere. You're the direction I follow to get home. Which, I guess, is what music is there for. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. I'll cover you.
