one step ahead of the shoeshine, two steps away from the county line

We have seen the enemy, and the enemy is Manchester United. Let's do this, kids.


Halftime ETA: O VALENCIA WITH YOUR BLOOD STILL WARM ON THE GROUND. Sorry, couldn't resist. Also, my comms just called my boy Robert van Persie. I've always wanted to watch games with someone else, but sometimes I'm glad no one is around to witness me babbling and shrieking like an idiot.

0-1 at the Emirates. Pick up your game, kids.


Just after second half kickoff ETA: HINDI KA INJURED HINDI PWEDE ROBIN HINDI PWEDE HINDI.


ETA 3 of X: PER PER YOU ABSOLUTE LIFESAVER.


ETA 4 of X: YESSSS YES YES YES KOS SZCZESNY OX ROBIIIN. I LOVE THIS TEAM. THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN TRUE BUT GODS I LOVE THIS TEAM.

AND OH DEAR GOODNESS LISTEN TO THE EMIRATES REACTING TO OX'S SUBSTITUTION. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD DISSENT THAT LOUD FOR A SUBSTITUTION.

Gods, poor Shava.


ETA 5 of I should have just made this a personal minute-by-minute: THEO THEO HINDI ITO MAAARI.


ETA 6 of why do I even bother: Guys. Guys. Anong ginagawa nyo.


ETA 7 of aaaah: Oh Arse.

Translation of ETA 7 of aaaah from Gooner to human: Oh Arsenal. My head hurts and I am still feeling flulike and I have been wanting to sleep since eight p.m. and do you know what time it is now? It's two in the morning, you crazy team, it's two in the morning and I spent the second half bundled up in blankets and pillows with aching joints and small bits of wiring burning up behind my eyes and you lose to Manchester United again and somehow staying up to watch still felt like the sensible thing to do. I haven't slept for more than three hours at a time since you lost the derby and I almost fainted during our dissection last Friday, you idiots, do you know how stupid that was, and here I am not-sleeping for you. I hate you so much.

Translation of the translation: Oh Arsenal, win the next one, okay?

one step ahead of the shoeshine, two steps away from the county line

We have seen the enemy, and the enemy is Manchester United. Let's do this, kids.


Halftime ETA: O VALENCIA WITH YOUR BLOOD STILL WARM ON THE GROUND. Sorry, couldn't resist. Also, my comms just called my boy Robert van Persie. I've always wanted to watch games with someone else, but sometimes I'm glad no one is around to witness me babbling and shrieking like an idiot.

0-1 at the Emirates. Pick up your game, kids.


Just after second half kickoff ETA: HINDI KA INJURED HINDI PWEDE ROBIN HINDI PWEDE HINDI.


ETA 3 of X: PER PER YOU ABSOLUTE LIFESAVER.


ETA 4 of X: YESSSS YES YES YES KOS SZCZESNY OX ROBIIIN. I LOVE THIS TEAM. THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN TRUE BUT GODS I LOVE THIS TEAM.

AND OH DEAR GOODNESS LISTEN TO THE EMIRATES REACTING TO OX'S SUBSTITUTION. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD DISSENT THAT LOUD FOR A SUBSTITUTION.

Gods, poor Shava.


ETA 5 of I should have just made this a personal minute-by-minute: THEO THEO HINDI ITO MAAARI.


ETA 6 of why do I even bother: Guys. Guys. Anong ginagawa nyo.


ETA 7 of aaaah: Oh Arse.

Translation of ETA 7 of aaaah from Gooner to human: Oh Arsenal. My head hurts and I am still feeling flulike and I have been wanting to sleep since eight p.m. and do you know what time it is now? It's two in the morning, you crazy team, it's two in the morning and I spent the second half bundled up in blankets and pillows with aching joints and small bits of wiring burning up behind my eyes and you lose to Manchester United again and somehow staying up to watch still felt like the sensible thing to do. I haven't slept for more than three hours at a time since you lost the derby and I almost fainted during our dissection last Friday, you idiots, do you know how stupid that was, and here I am not-sleeping for you. I hate you so much.

Translation of the translation: Oh Arsenal, win the next one, okay?